Hope Beyond Shame

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-3.

This is one of my favorite Bible verses because it paints a beautiful picture of the body of Christ. People coming together in support and love of one another. Someone toppling under the weight of struggle and their fellow Christians rushing to their aid to help make their burden lighter. It’s beautiful…if you’re the Christian coming to the aid of another. But what if you’re the one struggling to get on your feet?

We all want to be the knight in shining armor riding in on their white horse to rescue another. We want to be the hero. We don’t want to be the victim. So when we become victims of our circumstances, of our own foolish behaviors or our mistakes, it’s difficult to come forward and seek help. We want to keep our shame in darkness, hidden from others. But there’s only one who operates in darkness, and it isn’t God.

If you’re struggling under the weight of a burden, whether through fault of your own or not, do not allow shame to keep it hidden away. Once you bring it out into the light, the body of Christ will help you carry the load. However, you need to be selective with whom you entrust with certain parts of your private life. Just because you should not be ashamed to come forward for help doesn’t mean you need to broadcast it to the entire world around you. Too many voices can drown out sound advice.

So who can you trust?

This is a question my husband and I asked ourselves when we were at our breaking point and desperately needed help with the load. We asked ourselves some key questions to help us narrow down the people we would turn to for advice.

Who has given good testimony in our community?

A testimony is evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something. Essentially, we were searching for someone who had a reputation of being discrete and had verifiable good character. In other words, we didn’t want to know them as people who spread other peoples business. If you hear them speak of others like: “So and so told me that so and so…blah, blah…”, then that’s probably not the person who is going to keep your issues confidential. Don’t think that someone who is telling you someone else’s personal business is going to keep your business personal. Find someone who is a vault. Then you’ll be sure your business will be safeguarded.

Who is rooted in Scripture?

We were looking for that person who, no matter what you’re facing or how your day is going, they’re gonna quote you some Scripture! You say good morning and they respond, “Today is the day the Lord has made!” Hallelujah! Yes!! 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” We were searching for someone who has Scripture very evidently engraved in their heart because then we’d be assured that their words of advice and counsel would be planted in Godly wisdom.

Who has relatable life experience?

This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been through exactly what you’ve been through, but they’ve been through some stuff! When someone has walked a similar path before you, they’ve learned valuable lessons along the way. We’re married, so we wanted to speak to a married couple so we could get both the husband and wife perspective. One of our struggles is with finances, so we also wanted a couple who is financially stable. Whatever your issue may be, talking to someone with a relatable life experience may prove to be helpful.

With all of those things taken into consideration and after some discussion, we knew exactly who to speak to. The couple we selected to help us carry this load were Karyn and Bob. They are leaders in our church family, have an excellent testimony of trustworthiness and we knew that they would listen to our issues without judgement and give sound advice rooted in Scripture and love. They also would not sugarcoat the reality of our situation and lay it to us honestly. They would pray with us, check in with us and love us through all the peaks and valleys. They exemplified what the body of Christ is and how it’s designed to function.

Left to right: Jorge Gasca, Cinder Gasca, Karyn Stephan, Robert Stephan

Still, this was a big deal for us because we were so embarrassed to open up about it with anyone! Yeah, people probably knew we weren’t Rockefeller’s, but just the idea of revealing the intimate details of our struggles, our arguments, our finances was extremely difficult. But one Sunday after church, we had lunch with Karyn and Bob and we laid it out for them. We spoke about our struggles and our arguments in detail and they listened to us with understanding, patience and love.

Let me tell you, after that talk we felt lighter. We felt…like a burden had been lifted! Why? Because Galatians 6:1-3. The body of Christ was there for us and they helped carry our burden. As a result, we now have a new hope that we can get through this. As our Pastor says, we aren’t meant to do life alone. God planted us in a body, in a community so the harshness of life can be a bit easier to navigate. That first step we took cast a light on our shame, which led to the step to invest into the Dave Ramsey program, which led to the step of writing our first budget together, which will lead to other steps we’ll take that will change our future.

It all starts with that first bold step to reject shame and cast light where there is darkness.

Tags: Body of Christ, Community, Hope, Shame